a joke on Bella
by Cammander Malanader
Summary: my second fanfic, dont like it? then drop me a line! sould i make another chapter? i alread have it planed, so if you want me to, just say so! but just to warn you, if you want Edward to live, i wouldnt ask for the next chapter!


EPOV (Edward)

_Great. Just another rainy Sunday._ I thought. "Em, hunting?" I called. My brother, Emmett, was watching the T.V. screen. He hummed a song I didn't know. "Well....?"

"Give me one minute!" his fingers swept over his X-Boxes controler. "Aaargh!" he growled.

"Do you want to come or not?"

"Lemme...kill...this!"

"I'm going to go ask Jasper, then." I mumbled and walked off. I heard his scream from outside. Followed by a crash. "Did Emmett break his X-Box, _again_, Alice?" I growled. She nodded.

"It's the third time this week!" Jasper laughed.

"He couldn't get past the Maw." Alice told me. "I probably should of told you that on Monday."

"Why didn't you just stop him from playing, then?" I asked.

"Saw that, too." she looked up at me, her pixie face glowing. "I don't think Carlisl would like him to have a broken nose, so I just left it."

I shook my head, I guessed just better off to leave it. "Em, are you coming or not?" I called.

"Aaaaaaaargh!"

"He broke a window, let's get out of here!" Alice smiled. We flited around the woods, we had all just hunting two days ago. There was really nothing else to do.

Jasper sighed. "So bored...." he mumbled.

"Why did you leave me?!" I heard Emmett bark, he was running to find us.

"Because you broke a window, your 14th X-box, I wouldnt put it past you to even go on a rampage just because of a video game, Emmett!" I told him.

"You know what would be fun?" he asked, brushing me off.

I read his mind, or, tried to, at least. Blank. "What would be, fun, Emmett?" I asked.

He gave an evil smile. "Go scare Bella!"

I goaned. "Emmett, do I have to tell you again?"

"Maybeh..." he still had the evil smile on his face.

"Oh, come on, Eddie!" Alice laughed. "I saw it! She'll laugh! She'll love it, come on."

"Stop calling me that. And no, you didn't see it, Alice." i started to run back to the house.

"But I have a great idea!" Emmett kept pace with me.

"Shoot..." it was no use to argue.

"Ok, so I think she's gunna be out in the woods with Jake and his pack." I nodded. "Weeell... what if we go scare the wolves off and 'kidnap' Bell?"

"And how, she knows our faces!"

"Masks."

"Voices."

"Talk different." Jasper siad in a raspy tone.

"And what about the wolves? They wouldn't let us get near Bella if the didn't know it was us."

Alice pulled out he cell, dialed Jake's number, and put it on speaker.

He picked up. "Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Yeah...?"

"Can Bella hear us?" Emmett asked.

"No, who is this?"

"Us, now, leave her with the rest for a minute, we need to talk to you and she can't know, ok?"

"Sure..." we all heard the rustle of leaves. "Ok, I'm away from her."

"We're gunna pull a prank on her, 'kidnap' her, if you will."

"Ed know about this?"

"Don't call me that!" he hissed.

"Ok, what do you need me to then?"

"When you here a dog's bark, take and the pack leave her, but, wait. Leave her with Seth, ok?"

"Mmhmm."

"Next, well come up behind Seth, tell him this'll happen, and we'll take him away."

"Got it."

"Then we take Bella, and meet you and the pack at our house. Try as hard as you can not to laugh." Jasper put in. "Then we take her, and you say, 'Do you think this'll work?' and we then take our mask off, but Edwards not with us."

"Yeah." I could here him, laughing with a smile on his face. "And then?"

"Her lovie-dovie knight in shining skin come and saves her." I slapped Emmett hard. "Then, he beats us up, and leaves Bella by the house."

"Aah..."

"Then you take he stops and we burst out." Alice was jumping up and down.

"Sounds great!" he laughed.

"Your not going to tell her, right? I was hoping Seth could tape this after we tak him." I said.

"Sure, I'll go tell the pack, see you guys later." he hung up the phone.

"I hope this'll work." I muttered.

"Sure it will, I-" I cut Alice off.

"No, you didn't."

As we moved over to were the wolves were, Emmett stared to sing to himself.

_And I cry, every day! 'cause straight up that bitch is in my way! Barbie is a bitch, she is just a witch, I really hate her, why does Ken date her?_

"Emmett?" I wispered so quite that I could barly hear my self.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"Stop singing that gay South Park stuff." I looked over at him and he was just mouthing the word, _Timmy_.

I growled. He stopped. I looked over at Jasper. He nodded.

"_Ooooooohwwl!_" he called.

I heard Jake say, "What was that?" he was playing his part well.

"Should we go see?" Seth asked quitely.

"We'll go, you stay here with Bella, ok, Seth."

"But... I to fight to, Jake!" did he know this was a joke. It didn't sound like to me. "Phu-lease, Jaky-waky?" I heard a growl.

"No! Bella, we'll be right back."

"Careful, please, Jake."

"Don't worry, Bells. I'll be ok, I swear!"

He and the rest ran into the woods. I smiled at them, and gave them a thumbs up. _Ok,_ Jake mouthed, put a hand over his mouth, and let out a muffled scream. I looked over to Emmett. _That wasn't in the plans?_ He just shrugged, and we went of to get Seth.

I came up to his back, looked over my shoulder ar Emmett and the rest, then over Seth's. Good, bella was facing away from him. I just waited. I turned around a waved my hands at every one to follow me. We went deeper into the woods, so Bella couldnt hear me. "Why don't i help kidnap her? I think it would be more funny?" the nodded.

"I'll gab Seth, then." Leah said. Emmett went into a laughing fit. "Perv!" she growled and kicked him. He snapped his jaw at her foot.

"Stop, lets go." I said.

We headed back out. All of my family and I put on our masks. Leah walked up to Seth. Bella still had her back to him, humming he lullaby. I felt so sorry, but it would turn out funny, I hope. All of the vampires climed into trees the were close by Bella.

"Aaaaargh!" Seth screamed.

"Seth! Jake! Help!" he knew that she was somewere close to my house, but she still didnt move. She called. "Edward! Alice! Help!"

Every one was looking at me. I nodded, and we all dropped into the clearing. "Come with us, Bella. Quite, now, you don't want us to kill Edward, do you?" Jasper rasped. I really hoped our close wouldn't give us away.

She was frose. "We are they?"

"Gone." I growled. Whoa! I sounded really like Aro. "Now, be good, and come here!" I jumped at her, and she screamed.

"Heeeeeeeeelp!"

I placed my hand over her mouth. I still could understand what she said, thought, "Edward! Help me! Aro, let me go! Let me go! Aro!" I nodded to the rest, and we ran of to our house. Bella was wiggling.

"Stay still, Bella, sweatie." I said. She looked up at me, and again, I thought I blew our cover. No, her eyes were filled with hate. I smiled. She aimed a kick for my shin.

Gritting my teeth, I growled. "That. Was. The. Wosrt. Thing. You. Ever. Did."

"Lemme take her, Aro."

"Thank you, Felix." as I handed her over to Emmett, I could barly keep from laughing my face off.

"Felix! Aro! Look, his house! Pay back is oh so sweet." Alice called.

"Yes, but don't move into I say, Jane."

"Come on, Alec. Let's be the first ones there! Let's see if he got our message." Jasper looked around, and sped after Alice.

"Give me her, Felix. I'll need you to fend off those dogs and Edward's family." he nodded and handed me Bella. I placed my lips close to her neck. "If all goes well," I said, "tomorrow evening you will never see your Edward Cullen or his family ever again."

Her eyes glowed and she pulled my hand away from her mouth. "You wished, Aro."

As we got to the house, 'Alec' 'Jane' and 'Felix' were standing facing the wolves. I could just keep my laugh off.

"Bella!" Jake yelled, his face straing and his lips twitched. "Who are _they_?"

I set her on the ground, and lifted my hands from her sholders. She spun, a he fist slammed into my nose. "Bella!" I barked. Emmett was rolling around on the ground. "Glad it amused you, Emmy-bear." I growled.

"Edward?! I'm so sorry! She moved closer to me.

"Not you fault. Just remind me never to play a prank on you again!"


End file.
